Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Celibacy in the City

Ended up here because you were redirected from celibacyinthecity.com? You'll likely be disappointed but here's the story:

The memoirs of my dating misadventures that I've been lazily adding to since 2009 was titled "Celibacy in the City." At some point I bought the domain celibacyinthecity.com, which expired in November 2014 because I couldn't figure out how to log in to update my credit card.


It was featured in the latest episode of one of my favorite shows The Mindy Project as a blog written by a virgin in her thirties:

You know when you had something but didn't appreciate it, and let it go but seeing someone else have it drove you crazy so then you had to have it again? Yeah, that happened.

So I'm happy to report I've been reunited with my beloved URL. I won't ever forsake you again.


I'm single and in a new city (was previously in San Francisco, now in New York City) so please stay tuned here as I get my blogging and memoirs back on track for other people to actually read.

Monday, May 9, 2016

#MusicMonday: Playlist Reveal - "Misogyny Running Mix"

In an effort to not depress everyone 2 weeks in a row, I thought I'd share a more upbeat playlist of mine I like to call "Misogyny Running Mix." It features a lot of songs that are probably offensive to women by being objectifying, dehumanizing or otherwise disrespectful. I don't support misogyny but, damn, a lot of misogyny is set to some sick, catchy beats.

It's mostly a lot of male rap (think Ying Yang Twins and Lil Wayne) but there are some woman performers in there too.

This is what I listen to when walking or running to motivate me because it makes me want to fulfill my lifelong dream of being in a rap video and is a nice reminder that I'm many hard workouts away from qualifying.

  • "Freak-A-Leek" - Petey Pablo
  • "Wait (The Whisper Song)" - Ying Yang Twins
  • "Get Low" - Ying Ying Twins
  • "Ms. New Booty" - Bubba Sparxx
  • "Badd" - Mike Jones (feat. Ying Yang Twins)
  • "Back Then" - Mike Jones
  • "Back That Azz Up" - Juvenile
  • "Drop It Like It's Hot" - Snoop Dogg
  • "7/11" - Beyonce
  • "Formation" - Beyonce
  • "Diva" - Beyonce
  • "Black and Yellow" - Wiz Khalifa
  • "Upgrade U" - Beyonce (feat. Jay-Z)
  • "Feeling Myself" - Beyonce, Nicki Minaj
  • "What's Wrong With Them" - Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne
  • "Truffle Butter" - Nicki Minaj, Drake, Lil Wayne
  • "Right Above It" - Lil Wayne, Drake
  • "Forever" - Drake, Lil Wayne, Kanye West
  • "A Milli" - Lil Wayne
  • "6 Foot 7 Foot" - Lil Wayne
  • "Drop The World" - Lil Wayne (feat. Eminem)
  • "HYFR (Hell Yeah Fucking Right) - Drake, Lil Wayne
  • "Fancy" - Drake
  • "The Motto" - Drake
  • "Jumpman" - Drake
  • "Headlines"
  • "Started From the Bottom" - Drake
  • "Ni**as in Paris" - Jay-z
  • "Can I Get A..." - Jay-Z
  • "99 Problems" - Jay-Z
  • "Gold Digger" - Kanye West
  • "Bitch Better Have My Money" - Rihanna
  • "Pour It Up" - Rihanna
  • "I Don't Fuck With You" - Big Sean
  • "Ride Wit Me" - Nelly
  • "Country Grammar" - Nelly
  • "In Da Club" - 50 Cent
  • "Candy Shop" - 50 Cent
  • "Right Thurr" - Chingy
  • "You Can Do It" - Ice Cube
  • "Holla Holla" - Ja Rule
  • "Forgot About Dre" - Dr. Dre
  • "Ignition (Remix)" - R. Kelly

Monday, May 2, 2016

#MusicMonday: Playlist Reveal - "Crying in the Shower"


I'm not sure how other people name their playlists, but I like to name them by the activity that it's designed for or emotion it evokes. This week, I'll be revealing my playlist called "Crying in the Shower" that's appropriate for, you guessed it, crying in the shower.

This is for when you are depressed, heartbroken and just want to be left alone to cry in fetal position with hot water pouring down on you. This is not recommended for people who are in a good mood, who are in love, who have dirty bathtubs, or who live in a state suffering from drought.
  1. "All Too Well" - Taylor Swift
  2. "I Almost Do" - Taylor Swift
  3.  "Take It All" - Adele
  4. "Can't Let Go" - Adele
  5. "Hiding My Heart" - Adele
  6. "Someone Like You" - Adele
  7. "Don't You Remember" - Adele
  8. "Stay" - Lisa Loeb
  9. "Make It To Me" - Sam Smith
  10. "Lay Me Down" - Sam Smith feat. John Legend
  11. "Torn" - Natalie Imbruglia
  12. "Bleeding Love" - Leona Lewis
  13. "Go Slow" - HAIM
  14. "Dancing On My Own" - Robyn
  15. "Be Mine (Ballad)" - Robyn
  16. "Goodbye to You" - Michelle Branch
  17. "How Come You Don't Want Me" - Tegan & Sara
  18. "Stars" - Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
  19. "Say Something" - A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera (Note: I actually kind of hate this song but it definitely exacerbates sad feelings, which is the intention of the playlist)
Click on the link above to listen to the playlist (or what Spotify has of my playlist).

Coming soon, an exclusive look at my other playlists:
  • "Angry Singing in the Shower"
  • "I Don't Need No Man"
  • "Dancing On My Own (In My Room)"
  • "Misogyny Running Mix"
  • "Dream Lilith Fair"
  • "Karaoke Rehearsal"

Monday, April 18, 2016

#MusicMonday: #Work

There have been so many songs with the "work" theme that I felt it necessary to provide my top 5 ranking of the best work-themed songs based on the songs themselves and their music videos.

Honorable Mentions:
  • "Work" - Rihanna (feat. Drake)
    • I know this will shock people but aside from the song being catchy as shit, there's not much going for it. The first music video has some good dancing, but it's mostly grinding and not choreo. And you know, I love me some choreo. The second music video is a bore. I've seen RiRi's nips way too much for them to capture my attention.
  • "Work It Out" - Beyonce
    • Not her best. Not starring Sasha Fierce. But to be fair, this was early in her solo career. And this serves as a reminder that she only gets more flawless with age.
  • "Work Hard, Play Hard" - Wiz Khalifa
    • This song is super catchy but the video wasn't bad, but it's not something you'd watch more than once.
  • "Work Out" - J Cole
    • I love the sample of Paula Abdul but the music video is a bit of a snooze.

5. "Work B*tch" - Britney Spears
I'd love to rank my girl higher but you and I both this is not her best work. It's also not her worst. Hair, makeup, and costume is on point here. She looks fab and is actually dancing. The song is also fun and has definitely gotten me through some long runs.

4. "Work From Home" - Fifth Harmony
I want to hate them but this song is addicting. The video is great despite the obvious video editing to try to conceal their lack of dancing abilities and that you can tell who the record label thought was fat by the costuming. That aside, I love music videos that take place at construction sites. This video is very Pussycat Dolls meets Benny Benassi's "Satisfaction."

3. "Work" - Iggy Azalea
I love this song and I love this video. My favorites line has to be "Valley girls giving blow jobs for Louboutins...what you call that? Head over heels." The costumes are over the top and fabulous and Iggy's butt is an incredible co-star. You don't see a lot of white girls built like that and infinite squats wouldn't get me a booty like that. And damn, homegirl can twerk.

2. "Work" - Ciara (feat. Missy Elliott)
You know I love Ciara. Her body is always banging, her moves are always on point, and she never fails to deliver on a girl crush-worthy video. The song is great, the music video is on a construction site and there are multiple dance breaks; what more could you want? Fifth Harmony WISHES they could do what she does in this video.
Check out the dance break at 2:22 and the crazy weave spins at 2:37.
I really don't understand why she's not more famous. I feel like I'll probably write another post about people I think should be more famous, including Ciara and Nicole Scherzinger.

1. "Work It" - Missy Elliott
This song is an undeniable classic. It could get anyone under the age of 40 to get up and grind. The music video has a lot going on: an assortment of Adidas jumpsuits, dancing children, a miniature Missy with a dunce cap, bees on Missy's face, Missy on a date, and lots of choreo. Well done, Missy.



Friday, April 15, 2016

#FitnessFriday: It's coming...

I've been exercising regularly for about 2 and a half months now, which is the longest spurt of physical activity that I've ever done in my life, aside from what was mandated by the state of California as part of my public school education.

I joined ClassPass, which is a membership that gives you unlimited access to a ton of workout studios (up to 3x per studio per month) I like it for a few reasons:

  • I can't be trusted to work out alone. I don't know what to do with myself. I need someone to boss me around
  • I need the peer pressure of others in the class.
  • I get bored easily but there are so many classes to choose from throughout the day and I like trying new things.
  • I travel quite a bit and it's good for any city that ClassPass exists, which includes every domestic city I travel to. I don't have an excuse!
  • I also enjoy figuring out which classes to book that are of interest to me, geographically convenient and fit within my schedule. It's like a word problem!

In the coming weeks, I will provide reflections/reviews on some of the more interesting classes I've taken or am now attending semi-regularly, including:

  • pole dancing
  • twerking
  • aerial yoga
  • hip-hop hot yoga
  • Beyonce-themed classes
  • prison-themed bootcamp
  • school-themed bootcamp
  • Barry's Bootcamp


I printed out a calendar for the year and I have been recording the classes I've been taking and highlighting the dates that I work out, almost like a gold star for myself. I also made a secret Instagram as a photo diary of my progress, or lackthereof. I'm told all the young people are making secondary, more private Instagrams, unrelated to fitness. 

I haven't made much progress diet-wise, which people keep telling me is the bulk of seeing results. I've cut out alcohol for about a month now, not that I drank a lot to begin with, because I will try anything before I cut out all the unhealthy delicious things that I love so much. On a related note: sobriety makes dating difficult, but it just goes to show that I'd rather eat the things I love than be loved.

Anyway, I intend to share my #FitnessFriday reflections and reviews on (you guessed it) Fridays. Even writing this teaser post pretty much makes me a fitness guru. Prepare yourselves.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015 in review

Here's another public year in review that probably is only of interest to the person writing it.

2015 was a pretty big year for me:
  • asked Sheryl Sandberg a question at a Q&A
  • saw Britney in Vegas
  • upped my luxury shoe game
  • ended a long relationship
  • my daddy turned 90 years old and I got to celebrate with him and all five of my siblings
  • moved to New York after 6 years in San Francisco and a lifetime in California, leaving behind my friends, family, trusted hairdresser and favorite Indian restaurant
  • started working at FBNY on new accounts with a new team
  • started dating again
  • moved into a sick apartment with one of my best friends from high school
  • got pretty good at curling my hair with a straightener
  • went apple picking for the first time
  • found someone I can trust to cut my hair in NY - THIS IS HUGE
  • celebrated my birthday at the American Girl Cafe
  • got asked to be maid of honor for another of my best friends and for my sister
  • got to meet a lot of people I admire, including: Tyson Beckford, Lucy Lawless (Xena!), Martha Stewart
  • had two of dear friends get married and was lucky enough to witness it; had more dear friends get engaged and can't wait to see them tie the knot!
  • disciplined myself into leaving my eyebrows alone to allow them to grow out properly
  • stuck to my Korean skin care regimen pretty strictly for most of the year
  • tried out a round manicure for the first time in my life instead of square (world did not end)
  • wrote this blog post so I'm pretty much writing again

All things considered, a good, character-building year. I am ending the year feeling sane in my insane kind of way, confident in myself and very grateful for all the many people and things I am so fortunate to have in my life.

My theme of 2016 is a continuation of what I've been working on in 2015 which is: I don't care.
Everyone has very base things they HAVE to care about as sensible members of society. Mine are: my family, my work and myself.

If someone or something does not fall into one of those 3 buckets and does not contribute to the betterment of one or more of those 3 buckets, they are not deserving of any of time or energy and I therefore don't care. I have enough to focus on and worry about that I don't need extraneous bullshit distracting me from the things that actual matter (or select frivolous things I enjoy having in my life, like trash TV).

That said, here are my 2016 suggestions to self, meaning they'd be nice if I could accomplish but I'm not going to beat myself up over not completing them:
  • exercise more (though the bar is pretty low so anything would be an improvement)
  • re-learn Mandarin
  • re-learn piano
  • write more
  • figure out how to do a messy bun
  • be a badass maid of honor in two weddings
  • read more
  • volunteer
  • complete my de-hoarding process
  • travel more

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Random Thought of the Day: 7/15

This may be the most shocking and bold statement I have ever typed: if I could have the voice of any singer, dead or alive, I think I would have to pick Kelly Clarkson.

I know, I know. But Beyonce! Whitney! (RIP) I love them both.

Kelly Clarkson is a powerhouse though. She can hit any note with gusto and her singing-yelling is a melodic treat. Listening to her sing makes me want to jump on my bed, pump my fist in the air and give zero fucks about anything.

Don't tell Bey.